Susie tossed and turned all night and never really was very coherent. The fever went up and down, finally Dr. Roberts came back to talk to Bill. He said, "Bill, I'm afraid we have more problems. Susie has an infection in her blood. We will start her on some medication to help it, but we may not have caught it in time." Bill just stared at Dr. Roberts and said, "What are you trying to tell me Doctor?" "Are you telling me Susie may not make it?" "Yes, I am and I am so sorry, I wish I had better news for you." Bill sat there, stunned, when he finally did speak he said, "Well, I'm sorry too, Doctor, because I won't believe that, I can't! Susie will be okay, I can't, No! I won't lose her. God will save her, I know He will." Dr. Roberts told Bill that God would have to because now it was all up to Him, and they'd just have to wait and see. Then he said, "I have left some orders for her with the nurse, I'll be back in a little while and check on her."

After the Doctor left, Bill sat holding Susie's hand as he prayed. He talked to Susie, hoping she'd hear him, although the nurse said she was in a coma. Bill had to believe she could hear him when he told her to please fight because he and the kids needed her. "I can't lose you, Susie," he said. "I don't know if I can go on without you, Sarah and Justin need their mother, they are so young." Susie never moved. Bill still prayed that she heard him. He called Kate again and said, "Mom, it's bad, I don't know if she can hold on, she's so tired and I am so afraid she'll give up." Kate said, "Bill, do you want us to come down there?" "I don't know, Mom, I don't know if Sarah should see her this way." Kate said, "Maybe that's what she needs, maybe hearing Sarah's voice will help." "Okay," he answered, "Besides, if she doesn't make it, Sarah should be able to say goodbye." "Just try to relax and we'll be there shortly," Kate assured him. "Thanks for being here for me, Mom," he said. "That's what mothers are for," she told him, "I'll see you in a little while."

Bill sat quietly beside Susie's bed, so unsure of what the future had in store for them. 'What if Susie doesn't make it through?' He thought. 'How will I raise these kids without her? They need her and I need her, I just can't imagine a life without her.' Just then Susie moved about in her bed. Bill stood up and said, "Susie, can you hear me?" She moaned a little then her eyes fluttered, like she was trying to open them, then she was silent again. Bill called the nurse and told her how Susie was doing, the nurse checked her vitals and said, "She is still the same, Bill, I'm sorry."

As she was walking out of the room, Kate and Sarah came in. Sarah ran over to Bill and cried, "Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy? Is she going to see Angel Doris?" Tears filled Sarah's eyes as well as Bill's. He held Sarah tight, searching for the right words to say to his daughter. Finally he said, "Sarah, I wish I could say no." He turned away as tears poured down his face, "But honey, I just don't know." Sarah put her hand on Bill's back and said, "Don't cry, Daddy, Mommy wouldn't want us to be sad. She loves us and wants us to be happy."

As Bill looked at his daughter he felt so proud. He hugged her and said, "You're right, Sarah." Then he said, "Lets go and try to talk to Mommy and let her know we are here." Sarah walked over to Susie's bed and crawled in beside her and rubbed her mother's face and said, "Hi Mommy, it's me, Sarah. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, Mommy, to the moon and back, and so does Daddy, and Grandma Kate and Justin. We really want you to stay here with us Mommy." Susie's eyes fluttered and then opened. She looked at Sarah and said, "Look, Sarah, look! It's so beautiful. Angel Doris is here, do you see her, honey?" Tears filled Sarah's eyes as she said, "Yes, Mommy, I do." Bill cried until his whole body shook, he reached over and took Susie's hand. "Hey, Susie Q." She smiled and her whole face lit up. "Bill," she said, "Please don't cry." He laid down beside her and he and Sarah held her hands and told her how much they loved her. Susie said, "Look Bill, the light is more beautiful than anything I have even seen." "It sure is, Susie," He said through his tears. Susie said, "I love you all, to the moon and back." Then she slipped away.

Bill and Sarah sat there, holding her hands, neither one wanting to let go. As tears ran down their faces and grief overcame them. Kate stood in the corner of the room, still in shock, unable to believe that Susie was really gone. Finally Sarah spoke, "I know we shouldn't be sad, Daddy, because Mommy wouldn't want us to be, but what about Justin? He'll never get to know mommy now, not like I did." Bill, trying to control his emotions said, "We'll tell him every day about her and how much she loved him." The nurse came in then and said, "I am so sorry Mr. Kendell, for your loss. Would you like a little longer with her?" "Yes, I would, he said, "If it's okay." The nurse said, "You just take your time, we understand." Bill asked Sarah if she'd like a few minutes alone with her mommy and she said, "Yes, Daddy, I would." So Bill and Kate left the room, along with the nurse.

After they had gone, Sarah sat beside Susie and said, "I love you, Mommy, so very much and I promise I will be a good big sister to Justin. I will tell him all about you, how you were the best mommy in the world. I know that you will miss us too, Mommy. But I know heaven is beautiful and Angel Doris has missed you for so long, so even though I am sad that you won't be here, I am happy that you will get to be with Angel Doris and Jesus, because He is so nice, Mommy. I will have two angels in heaven now, you and Angel Doris." Then she kissed Susie's forehead and with tears running down her face, she said, "I love you Mommy, to the moon and back, for always and forever." Then she went out to the hallway where her daddy and grandma Kate were waiting. She tried to be so brave but when she saw Bill, she hugged him tight and cried.

After Bill had calmed Sarah down, he went in to see Susie one last time. As he stood there staring at his beautiful wife, as he remembered back to the day he had met her. He had just become a minister and his family was having a party for him at a near by restaurant. The waitress who came to the table to take their order was Susie. She had the most beautiful red hair and big green eyes. Bill took one look into her beautiful green eyes and he was hooked. They had their first date two days later and were married a month after that. They had never been apart for more than a couple of days. Now here he was, having to say goodbye to the only woman he had ever loved. Tears ran down his face as he dropped to his knees beside her bed. "Susie, my sweet Susie," he said, "How can I go on without you? I just don't know if I can do this, Sarah and Justin and I need you." Then he cried, "Please Lord, tell me this is all a dream." But it wasn't and he knew that, he knew this wasn't a dream. Susie was really gone and nothing could change that. He had to take Justin home with him and Sarah and they had to go on without her. He made Susie one more promise as he kissed her goodbye. "I'll always take care of them, Susie, and I'll make sure they never forget you. I promise you, this is not goodbye. I'll see you in heaven someday my love." Then he did the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He left.